I Hate Goblins!
by Sanguine Poison
Summary: Buffy/Labyrinth Crossover...Spike and Buffy watch a movie and Spike wishes her away by accident.
1. Underground

Title: I Hate Goblins! Part 1  
Author: Vampy  
E-mail: Vampybaby619@hotmail.com  
Rating: PG-13  
Distribution: Anyone who wants it, just lemme know where it's going  
Summary: Buffy/Labyrinth crossover. Spike wishes Buffy away by accident and wackiness ensues...  
Disclaimer: I own nothing, Joss owns the BtVS stuff and Jim Henson owns the Laby stuff  
Author's Note: Not only am I a Buffy freak, I'm a Labyrinth freak too...great huh? Also in the beginning of this fic Spike and Buffy are only friends, later the relationship develops into more.  
  
  
"Spike! Hurry up with the popcorn!" Buffy yelled, to the blonde vampire from her comfy position on the couch. Spike walked in a half a second later carrying a huge bowl of popcorn and 2 sodas. He handed the popcorn bowl to Buffy, set the drinks down on the table, then plopped himself next to her.  
  
"Bossy little chit aren't we, Slayer?" said Spike snagging a handful of popcorn. Buffy stuck her tongue out at him.  
  
"Well the movie is about to start and you were taking to long" Buffy replied.   
  
"Right. So luv, what movie are we watching tonight?" Spike asked taking a sip of his drink. Buffy smiled brightly, like a little child that had just been given candy.  
  
"Labyrinth. It was a favorite movie of mine when I was younger" Buffy answered. Spike snorted, and rolled his eyes.  
  
"You're going to make me watch that poncy movie? Dru dragged me to that flick a million times, she had a thing for that David Bowie bloke" said Spike.  
  
"At least she had good taste," said Buffy with a giggle at the look Spike was giving her.  
  
Finally, the movie had started. A white owl flew across the television screen and the opening music began to play.   
  
It's only forever, not long at all. Lost and lonely...No one can blame you for walking away but too much rejection: no love injection no no  
  
Buffy sang along with the movie under her breath, Spike watched her for a bit with a grin on his face. When she turned her head to look at him, his eyes were focused on the movie. The movie played on and it got to the part where Sarah was calling the goblins to take the baby away. Spike snorted once again...  
  
"What is it this time?" Buffy asked with a glare.  
  
"What kind of sister is that I ask you? Wishing her poor little brother away" Spike said.  
  
"Well the kid was being annoying, I would have probably done the same thing" Buffy replied her eyes going back to the television.   
  
"Is that what I should do to you when you get annoying, Slayer?" Spike asked, with a smirk. Buffy gave him the finger and Spike laughed.  
  
"Y'know when I was a kid, I used to think that if you said 'the words' that the Goblins really would come and take you away" she said.  
  
"Aww, the poor slayer is afraid the goblins are gonna take her away..." Spike teased.  
  
"Shut up, bleach boy" Said Buffy, throwing a pillow at him.  
  
"I'll prove to you the whole thing is rubbish..." said Spike. Buffy looked a bit fearful.  
  
"Spike, don't! I have a really bad feeling about this." Buffy pleaded.  
  
"I wish...I wish the goblins would come and take the Slayer away, Right now!" Spike said, the last part followed by a laugh. Buffy closed her eyes and waited, nothing happened.  
  
"See, Slayer. I told you it's all a bunch of rubbish," Spike said turning back to the movie.   
  
"Spike you're such an ass-" Buffy started. Just then the lights went out. Spike suddenly noticed the ever-present sound of Buffy's heartbeat was gone.  
  
"Slayer? Buffy? This isn't funny, ducks!" Spike shouted into the dark. The lights in the house came back on and Buffy was nowhere to be found. Spike pounded upstairs calling her name but no one answered. He ran downstairs to the kitchen and dialed the magick shop. Willow picked up the phone...  
  
"Magic Box, how may I help you?" she said, cheerfully.  
  
"Red, we've got a problem..." Spike started, then he noticed the front door was open. It was night in Sunnydale but the through the open door Spike could see and orange-ish light spilling into the house. He let the receiver fall from his hand and he walked to the front door. He didn't believe what he saw...through the open door was indeed the Labyrinth. Spike stepped through the door and it closed behind him, disappearing.  
  
"Why must people always use 'the words' in jest?" asked a voice from behind him. Spike turned around slowly. Standing before him was none other than Jareth, the Goblin King himself. The two males sized each other up then Spike spoke...  
  
  
"Where's the Slayer?" he asked. Jareth rolled his eyes.  
  
"You know very well where she is...She's in my castle at the center of the Labyrinth" Jareth replied pointing in the direction of his home.  
  
"Bring her back, you sodding git!" Spike shouted, really wanting to tear Jareth's throat out. Jareth raised an eyebrow at his demand.  
  
"Temper, temper...Now why the concern, she is the Slayer after all. Killer of your kind." Said Jareth.  
  
"None of your business you nosy bastard, just bring Buffy here...NOW!" Spike said, looking very menacing. Jareth looked as if he was in thought, then he waved his hand and a clock appeared but it wasn't just any clock, this clock had 13 hours on it.  
  
"Now, my dear boy, you know what I'm going to say...You have 13 hours to solve the Labyrinth before your slayer..." Jareth started.  
  
"Becomes one of us forever...I know the story peaches" Spike spat. Jareth shook his head.  
  
"Do you? This isn't a movie William...If you lose, your Slayer becomes mine for all eternity." Jareth sneered. Spike looked at him wide eyed.  
  
"What?" he exclaimed.  
  
"You might want to get started. The castle is further than you think, time is short." Said Jareth disappearing. Spike looked at the 13-hour clock, he had wasted a precious 5 minutes talking to the Goblin King. He turned his gaze to the Labyrinth just as the Underground's sun rose.  
  
"I'm coming, Slayer"   
  
TBC...  
  
  
  



	2. It's Only Forever

Title: I Hate Goblins! Part 2  
Author: Vampy  
E-mail: Vampybaby619@hotmail.com  
Rating: PG-13  
Distribution: Anyone who wants it, just lemme know where it's going  
Summary: Buffy/Labyrinth crossover. Spike wishes Buffy away by accident and wackiness ensues...  
Disclaimer: I own nothing, Joss owns the BtVS stuff and Jim Henson owns the Laby stuff  
Author's Note: Not only am I a Buffy freak, I'm a Labyrinth freak too...great huh? Also in the beginning of this fic Spike and Buffy are only friends, later the relationship develops into more.  
  
Buffy slowly cracked an eye open, then quickly closed it again. She was lying on a stone floor in the middle of a mob of furry green things. *Goblins!* her mind screamed.   
  
"Who is she?" one goblin whispered, reaching out to touch the blonde. Another goblin smacked his hand away.  
  
"If his Highness catches you touching her you're gonna be swimming naked in the Bog of Eternal Stench." She said, quietly.  
  
"She's purty," lisped a goblin child. Tired of hearing the little creatures talking about her Buffy stirred, sat up, and looked around. The whole room was covered in dust, rags, and there were goblins everywhere. Some of them were staring at Buffy intently; others were going about their business and making a mess of things. At the head if the room Buffy spied a wicked looking throne, which only confirmed her suspicions of where she was.  
  
"Spike, you are so dead when I get back home" Buffy mumbled under her breath. While thinking of a way to escape, she didn't notice that the little gobbling child had come closer until he tapped her foot. The tap startled Buffy out of her reverie...  
  
"Hi, What's yer name?" asked the goblin a bit shyly. Buffy smiled a little; she had to admit he was cute. He looked up at her with big, soft brown eyes waiting for her reply.  
  
"Hey little guy. My name is Buffy, what's yours?" Buffy replied. The little goblin bowed.  
  
"Pweased to meet you, Lady Buffy. My name is Dusty." He said, smiling.   
  
"So Dusty, Can you tell me what I'm doing here?" Buffy questioned, lifting the little goblin and sitting him on her lap. The goblin nodded.  
  
"His Majesty brought you here from Earth." Dusty answered, grabbing a few strands of Buffy hair and playing with it. Buffy giggled and tickled him. Suddenly, a burst of glitter Jareth stood before her. She gaped at him and felt Dusty shiver in her arms.   
  
  
"For a Slayer, you really are beautiful," said Jareth, looking down at her. Buffy slowly put Dusty down and stood up, she then launched herself at the Goblin King. He disappeared before their bodies impacted and Buffy landed unceremoniously onto the throne.  
  
"Ow! That's cheating damn it! Damn magical types and they're poofing!" Buffy shouted.  
  
"You don't have to shout, my dear. I'm right here," said Jareth, materializing beside her. Without thinking Buffy slugged him hard across the face. The whole room went quiet. Shocked, Jareth a hand to his face and stared at the tiny blonde. Buffy's eyes widened in horror *Oh my god! I just punched the Goblin King!* she thought frantically. Jareth and Buffy stared at each other, wondering what the other was thinking. Finally, Jareth spoke...  
  
"For one so small you pack a powerful punch, but then I remember you're a Slayer." Said Jareth, rubbing his jaw.   
  
"That's right, buddy. So don't you even think about trying anything sneaky" Buffy replied. Jareth looked directly into her eyes for a long moment. Buffy tried not to get lost in the unmatching depths of his eyes. Jareth had a plan...  
  
"For the next 13 hours, Lady Slayer you are a guest in my castle. You may go where ever you wish except outside the castle walls that is and anything you need or want I will provide." Said Jareth, with a gentlemanly bow. Buffy knew he was up to something; he acted like Spike when he wanted something from her.  
  
"Um, thank you your Majesty" she said, with an awkward curtsy.   
  
"You're quite welcome and please, call me Jareth" He replied.  
  
"You said I'm here for 13 hours right? That means Spike has to solve the Labyrinth to save me and if he doesn't...I get turned into a goblin?" Buffy asked, looking to Jareth.  
  
"No, no. You're much too old to be turned into a goblin, my lady. If William loses, you stay with me for all eternity." Jareth answered casually.   
  
"WHAT?! I have to stay here with you...FOREVER?" Buffy shouted.  
  
"Come now, it wouldn't be all that bad. I could make you a queen..." Jareth offered, hopefully.  
  
"Buffy the Goblin Queen? It just doesn't have the same ring as Buffy the Vampire Slayer" Buffy replied. Jareth laughed and all the goblins froze, they hadn't heard their king truly laugh in a long time.  
  
"Such fire you have, Lady Slayer. I think I shall enjoy having you as a companion for eternity" said Jareth, smiling.  
  
"Yeah well don't hold your breath, Jareth. Spike will come for me." Buffy said, glaring defiantly.  
  
"Will he now? Well, your William hasn't even found the entrance to the Labyrinth yet" Jareth said, making a crystal appear in his hand. He held the crystal up to Buffy's face and let her gaze into it, within was Spike talking to Hoggle...More like threatening Hoggle...  
  
"Now you sarcastic little poof, tell me where the door to the Labyrinth is or I'll tear out your throat" Spike said, angrily shaking the poor troll. Spike was in full game face and he wasn't about to take any crap from anyone, especially not a smart-ass troll.  
  
"Y-you gets in there" Hoggle gasped out, pointing to the hidden doors, which quickly opened. Spike dropped him and strode over to the doors batting away the little fairies that tried to bite him on the way in. Spike looked around on the inside, it was a long corridor that ran left to right.  
  
"Cozy isn't it?" said Hoggle from behind him. "Why are you going in there anyway?"  
  
"Nosy little bugger aren't you, mate?" said Spike. "Why do you want to know?"  
  
"I just do that's all..." said Hoggle quickly. Spike got suspicious; the troll knew something he didn't.  
  
"You're hiding something. Tell me what it is and I might let you live" Spike growled, grabbing Hoggle by the shirt.  
  
"Okay! Okay! I'll talk! Jareth is planning on making your lady friend Goblin Queen" Hoggle said, struggling to get out of Spike's grasp.  
  
"The Slayer would never fall for his bullshit" Said Spike. Just then Spike had a flashback of Dawn telling him that Buffy had a huge crush on the Goblin King in the movie. He dropped Hoggle and he fell to the ground in a heap.  
  
"Oh bugger! Better get going. Now, which way should I go? Left or right?" said Spike to himself. He looked to Hoggle for the answer...  
  
"Me? I wouldn't go either way," Came Hoggle's smart-ass reply. Spike took a threatening step toward him and backed Hoggle against the wall.  
  
"Right! I'd go right!!" Hoggle screeched. Spike smirked, stepped back from the troll, patted him in the head and was gone down the corridor...  
  
"For once, Spike being himself is a good thing," said Buffy, as the picture in the crystal faded. She glanced at Jareth and noticed a dark look had crossed his face, the melted away when he looked at her. Suddenly, he brushed lips across hers and in a flash he was gone. Buffy sat in stunned silence, then brought her fingers to her lips...*He kissed me and I think I liked it* Dusty crawled up into her lap and she held him close.  
  
"Oh Dusty, what am I going to do?"   
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Through The Labyrinth

Title: I Hate Goblins! Part 3  
Author: Vampy  
E-mail: Vampybaby619@hotmail.com  
Rating: PG-13  
Distribution: Anyone who wants it, just lemme know where it's going  
Summary: Buffy/Labyrinth crossover. Spike wishes Buffy away by accident and wackiness ensues...  
Disclaimer: I own nothing, Joss owns the BtVS stuff and Jim Henson owns the Laby stuff  
Author's Note: Not only am I a Buffy freak, I'm a Labyrinth freak too...great huh? Also in the beginning of this fic Spike and Buffy are only friends, later the relationship develops into more.  
  
"Labyrinth? Iffin I'm right there are supposed to be turns and twists so where the bloody hell are they?" Spike said to himself.  
  
"Allo" said a little voice from his right. Spike looked around and saw no one; there was just a little blue worm with a red scarf around his next resting by a hole in the rock. Spike got down on his knees and studied the little worm more closely.  
  
"Yes, I did say 'allo" said the worm, with a cheeky grin. Spike sat back on his heels and blinked.  
  
"Right then, do you think you can tell me how to get out of this bloody corridor, blue?" Spike asked. "Because I don't see any soddin' way out"  
  
"Well, this corridor is full openings, it's just you ain't seeing them" the worm replied. "Why don't you come inside and have a nice cup of tea" Spike looked at the little worm strangely at his offer...He sounded like Dru.  
  
"Um, no thanks mate. I got a Slayer to save and all...so if you could just tell me where the first available opening is I'll be on my merry way." Said Spike.  
  
"Well, there's one just across there, right in front of ya," said the worm, gesturing to the other side of the corridor with his head.  
  
"Are you daft? There's just wall there..." Spike replied, standing up and giving the wall a once over.  
  
"You just try walking through it, you'll see what I mean" said the worm watching Spike intently. Spike put his hands out in front of him so he would have a huge bump on his head if he banged against the wall. Instead of banging into the wall Spike went right through it.  
  
"See? Things aren't always what they seem in this place." The worm called. Spike gave the little guy a good natured salute then started off to the right...  
  
"Hang on!" the worm yelled. Spike turned back around to hear what he had to say.  
  
"Don't go that way! Never go that way..." the worm told him. Spike shrugged and still went to right. The worm sighed.  
  
"His highness will be most displeased at this," he thought, as he crawled into his hole. Neither Spike nor the worm say the white owl flying overhead, Jareth had seen what had taken place and he wasn't happy. It was time to put his plan into action...  
  
  
"Jareth! Jareth!" Buffy called. The goblins had been getting on her nerves, all the goblins, save Dusty. She had already kicked one huge mother of a goblin in his little goblin parts for staring at her lustily and trying to grab her. She had enough!   
  
"Yes, Buffy" Jareth whispered into her ear, suddenly materializing behind her. Buffy shivered at his nearness. She whipped around quickly to face him.  
  
"Um, hi. I came to ask you if there's a place for Dusty and I to relax, away from all these...things. Especially, that one!" said Buffy, pointing to a goblin that was holding his parts and writhing in pain in a corner of the throne room. Jareth laughed for the second time that day...  
  
"Gave him what he deserved, eh?" he asked with a smile. Buffy nodded and returned his smile.   
  
"I'll show you to a room where you may rest" said Jareth, offering his arm. Buffy hesitated. *Does, the word enemy ring a bell? But he's just so handsome and charming* After what seemed like forever she took his arm, held Dusty firmly in the other, and smiled again. The goblins watched as they shimmered and disappeared.   
  
When the room stopped spinning, Buffy noticed they were standing in front of a wooden door with intricately carved roses all over it. She looked over at Jareth and he smiled in that sexy way of his. (You Laby fans know what I'm talking about) *Sexy? Did I just think of my captor as sexy?*  
  
"Well, don't just stand there my girl. Open the door..." said Jareth, with a small laugh. Buffy's hand closed over the knob and she opened the door, she gasped at the beautiful sight that greeted her. The room was decorated in shades of cream and rose. The four-poster canopy bed had the same wooden rose carvings as the door; there was a wardrobe and a dresser with a huge mirror, both with the same carvings. She loved the room instantly. Buffy turned to thank the Goblin King but he had vanished...  
  
Jareth had gone back to the throne room to check on Spike's progress, a crystal materialized in his hand and he gazed into it. Spike was already in the Fiery Woods, he had no doubt that those little monsters would stall him, still Jareth changed into the form of an owl and took off over the forest.  
  
"The things I do for that girl," muttered Spike as he made his way through the wood. He heard a twig snap somewhere in the woods and he put on his game face, scanning the wood for enemies. Suddenly, out of no where a creature with fiery orange fur jumped out at him and Spike sent his fist crashing into it's face. Its head flew off and into a bush.  
  
"Hey man, That's a friend of mine!" yelled another one of the strange creatures. Spike looked around and noticed these creatures surrounded him. The body of the one he had hit clumsily walked over to the bushes and re-attached its head. The thing glared at him...  
  
"Now we get to take your head off," it said menacingly.   
  
"Yeah! Let's take off his head!" yelled another. Spike didn't like the look of this but he was spoiling for a good fight and if these ugly little bastards were looking for a fight, he'd be happy to oblige them. He got into a relaxed fighting stance and waited for an attack. The creatures looked at each other, they didn't expect him to want to fight with them.   
  
"Aren't you gonna run?" asked the fattest of the group.  
  
"Run? From you poncy little buggers? Not bloody likely!" Said Spike with a bitter laugh. He slipped into his game face and they all froze, then all at once they ran screaming in the direction they came from. Spike's game face melted away and he looked disappointed...  
  
"Nobody wants to play with me...Cowards!" he said, yelling the last part into the woods so the creatures would hear. Jareth watched from the trees in owl form, he mentally cursed the Fireys and vowed to punish them later. Spike's stomach growled loudly, so loudly that Jareth heard it from his position in the trees. *I could use this to my advantage*  
  
From behind him, Spike heard a gurgling noise. When he turned around the sight of a bubbling fountain greeted him...except this fountain wasn't bubbling with water, it was bubbling with blood...human blood. The demon within him stirred. He walked toward the fountain and stuck one finger in the flow of blood. It tasted normal; Spike looked around, shrugged and took a gulp of the blood. It was hot and delicious...something he hadn't tasted in so long. After he had drunk his fill of the blood, he began to feel strange...everything was dancing and he had to sit down. Spike looked around dazedly when something glistening in an addled ray of sunshine caught his eye. It was bubble and within was an image of Buffy wearing the most beautiful gown he had ever seen. That was the last thing Spike saw before he passed out...  



	4. Dance Magic Dance

Title: I Hate Goblins! Part 4  
Author: Vampy  
E-mail: Vampybaby619@hotmail.com  
Rating: PG-13  
Distribution: Anyone who wants it, just lemme know where it's going  
Summary: Buffy/Labyrinth crossover. Spike wishes Buffy away by accident and wackiness ensues...  
Disclaimer: I own nothing, Joss owns the BtVS stuff and Jim Henson owns the Laby stuff  
Author's Note: Not only am I a Buffy freak, I'm a Labyrinth freak too...great huh? Also in the beginning of this fic Spike and Buffy are only friends, later the relationship develops into more.  
  
  
Buffy stared out of the window of the room at the beautiful view of the castle garden; Dusty was firmly nestled in her arms gazing out of the window himself. Buffy noticed it was a bit chilly, then she realized she was still in her pajamas which only consisted of blue boxers and a huge gray t-shirt. *I wonder if there are any clothes in the wardrobe I could change into* Buffy sat a very sleepy looking Dusty on the bed and went over to the wardrobe, when she opened it she couldn't believe her eyes. Dresses of every color of the rainbow spilled from it depths and she laughed in delight. Her laughter made Dusty jump and she turned to face the little goblin, holding out two dresses. One pink and one blue...  
  
"Which one should I wear?" she asked. The little goblin hopped off of the bed and came towards her, inspecting both dresses with a critical eye.  
  
"The bwue one, it's purty.... just like you Lady Buffy" he said with a shy smile. Buffy giggled and patted him on the head.  
  
"You're so sweet! Now turn around and close your eyes so I can change" said Buffy. Dusty blushed a bright green color, turned around, and covered his eyes not daring to peek. Buffy shimmied out of her shorts and shirt and slipped the dress on and she slipped on the matching slippers she found at the bottom of the wardrobe. She looked in the mirror and smiled, the dress fit her perfectly. She knew Jareth had them made especially for her and she blushed in spite of herself. She couldn't be falling for Jareth...could she? She shook that thought out of her head then turned to Dusty once again.  
  
"You can turn around now, Dusty." Said Buffy. Dusty turned around and his eyes widened in awe at how beautiful she looked. Buffy did a quick turn and Dusty bowed to her for the second time that day.  
  
"You look like a pwincess," said Dusty. Buffy giggled and curtsied.  
  
"Why thank you, Sir Dusty," she said laughing when Dusty blushed bright green once again. "Hey maybe we could find you something to wear in here..." Buffy rummaged around in the wardrobe and to her surprise she found a tiny little outfit that matched hers. She picked up the outfit and showed it to Dusty and his eyes brightened at the sight of the new clothes. Buffy picked him up and stood him on the bed, stripped him of his dirty rags, and put him into the little blue outfit. He spun in a circle so she could have a look at him.  
  
"You look wonderful, my little prince." Said Buffy, kissing him on the cheek. She took him into her arms and she carried him to the mirror so he could see himself. She set him on the dresser and he stared at his reflection in wonder for a moment, and then turned back to her with a beaming smile on his face. Buffy noticed there was a music box on the dresser, it looked suspiciously like the one in the movie only the figurine had blond hair instead of brown. She wound it and let it play...the song was the same as in the movie and Buffy hummed softly to it. She curtsied to Dusty once again and held out her arms.  
  
"May I have this dance, your highness?" she asked with a smile. Dusty jumped up into her arms and they danced around the room while Buffy sang to the music.  
  
"There's such a sad love deep in your eyes, a kind of pale jewel opened and closed within your eyes, I'll place the sky within your eyes," she sang softly. She turned circles and dipped Dusty, and he giggled.  
  
"You're silly, Lady Buffy." He said. Buffy smiled and continued to dance, she didn't noticed Jareth standing in the doorway with a gentle smile on his face as he watched the two dance.   
  
"As the pain sweeps through, makes no sense for you. Every thrill has gone wasn't too much fun at all..."Sang Buffy.  
  
"But I'll be there for you, as the world falls down..." came Jareth's voice from behind her. She spun around quickly and dropped into an awkward fighting stance with Dusty still in her arms. Jareth laughed at the picture she made.  
  
"It's only me, Buffy. And might I say, you do look ravishing in that gown." Said Jareth, looking at her in a way that her feel...sexy. Buffy blushed and put Dusty down.  
  
"T-thank you for the dress, Jareth. It was very kind of you...um Dusty thanks you too" she said gesturing to the little goblin that was trying to hide in the folds of her dress.  
  
"You're both quite welcome, as I said you are my guest, my lady. Think nothing of it" Jareth replied. Buffy looked at Jareth, trying to come up with something else to say...before she could open her mouth Jareth spoke.  
  
"Would you like to see the garden?" he offered. Buffy broke into a smile and nodded she looked to Dusty but the little guy had fallen asleep standing up in the folds of her dress. Jareth gently picked up the little goblin and laid him on the bed, Buffy gave him a little kiss on the forehead. When she turned around she noticed how close her and Jareth's bodies were, close enough to kiss. It in fact looked like he was going to kiss her! Buffy ducked around him and stood a few feet away...  
  
"So, how bout you show me that beautiful garden of yours?" she said. Jareth wasn't discouraged. *I will have you, my sweet slayer. Just as soon as I make you forget all about William* he thought as she took his arm...  
  
Spike heard soft music playing; he slowly opened his eyes...He was in a ballroom. *What the hell am I doing here?* he wondered. There were people in all different sorts of dress the only thing that they had in common was that they were all wearing masks. One dancer in particular caught his eye; she had long dark hair and was wearing a burgundy dress with black trim with a black satin mask over her eyes. As soon as he saw her, he lost her in the crowd. Spike stood up and pushed through the dancers, he didn't know why but he had to find her. He saw a flash of her dress to the right of him but as soon as he turned he lost sight of her again. When he turned around, there she was...the mask hiding her identity. Somehow she seemed vaguely familiar, she gave him a mischievous smile and removed her mask.  
  
"My Spike" she purred, "You've come back to mummy"  
  
"Dru?" Spike managed to get out.   
  
"Miss Edith told me you would be coming to the ball" Drusilla replied. Spike couldn't say anything; he just stared at his Dark Queen. He thought he would never see his princess again, he didn't know what to do. Some thing flittered through his mind...He was supposed to do something but he couldn't remember what.  
  
"You're supposed to dance with me, my William" Drusilla said, reading his mind. "Dance with your princess."  
  
"Yeah, dance with my princess" Spike said, taking her in his arms. Drusilla held him close as they danced along with the others at the ball. Spike still couldn't shake the feeling that he was supposed to do something...and that dancing with Dru wasn't it. He looked around at all the partygoers they were all staring and he and Dru as they danced, everyone with a secretive smile on their face. Drusilla looked up at him a smiled dreamily...  
  
"Mummy loves her Spike," she said. Spike looked down at her and for a brief second her face changed into that of a blonde woman. Spike blinked and saw that it was still Dru in his arms not a blonde woman.  
  
"I love you too...Buffy" he replied, Dru's face changed once again. Drusilla looked at him...furious but Spike was looking around frantically, he spied a clock against the wall with 13 hours on it. *13-hour clock? You've got to save the Slayer!* his mind shouted He pushed Dru away from him and the crowd rushed in trying to keep him from escaping. He fought his was through, bloodying noses and snapping necks leaving a trail of bodies behind him as he worked his way toward the clock. When he reached the clock he noticed that there weren't any doors and that the walls were rounded and made of glass.  
  
"One of the pillock's crystals, I'll show him that he can't bottle the Big Bad!" Spike said grabbing a chair and smashing it into the wall. And as the ballroom shattered Spike felt himself falling through space, the last thing he heard were screams and with a smile of satisfaction he let the blackness that was creeping up, overtake him...   
  



	5. Hallucination

Title: I Hate Goblins! Part 5  
Author: Vampy  
E-mail: Vampybaby619@hotmail.com  
Rating: NC-17  
Distribution: Anyone who wants it, just lemme know where it's going  
Summary: Buffy/Labyrinth crossover. Spike wishes Buffy away by accident and wackiness ensues...  
Disclaimer: I own nothing, Joss owns the BtVS stuff and Jim Henson owns the Laby stuff  
Author's Note: Not only am I a Buffy freak, I'm a Labyrinth freak too...great huh? Also in the beginning of this fic Spike and Buffy are only friends, later the relationship develops into more.  
  
Jareth led Buffy through the gates of the castle garden and she couldn't believe what she saw...roses everywhere but these weren't just any roses. All the roses we either gold or silver! Buffy reached out to touch the petals the stopped looking to Jareth for permission, he nodded and she ran her fingers over the roses' petals. They were soft to the touch and they smelled heavenly, she bent over the roses and inhaled their scent. She turned and gave Jareth delighted smile.   
  
"I take it you like my garden. I come here to think when I get tired of dealing with the goblins. This is the first time I've ever brought anyone else here," said Jareth.   
  
"It's very beautiful. But I can't be the first to be invited in, you must take women through here all the time" Buffy replied. Jareth gave her a pained smile.  
  
"Sadly, not many women stay long enough to see the garden" Jareth said, taking her hand and leading her to sit on the edge of the fountain that stood in the middle of the garden.   
  
"You're kidding me? No women would want to stay around a handsome man like you?" Buffy asked incredulously. Jareth cocked an eyebrow.  
  
"You think I'm handsome do you?" he asked with a cocky smile. Buffy blushed.  
  
"Um, I mean..." she stammered, unable to get the words out. Jareth smiled a bit triumphantly.  
  
"We both know what you meant, Lady Slayer." He said, making a golden rose appear in his hand, Jareth handed the rose to Buffy and she inhaled its sweet perfume. The wonderful smell sent her mind reeling.  
  
"Just think for a moment Buffy, you could spend the rest of eternity here in this garden...with me. You could be a queen..." he purred. Buffy started to feel sleepy, and her eyes drooped a bit.  
  
"Can't be queen...I...am...the...Slayer" Buffy managed to get out, before she passed out...asleep. Jareth caught her before she could slip off of the stone fountain. Jareth gathered Buffy up into his arms and orbed back into the room he had prepared for her and laid her on the bed next to the sleeping Dusty. Jareth orbed Dusty to the goblin children's' nursery, called on a crystal and gazed into it. And as a picture of Buffy in the same room appeared he began his seduction of the Slayer in her dreams...  
  
Buffy didn't remember how she had gotten back to the room, it was dark outside and numerous candles lighted her room. Dusty was no longer in the bed and she wondered where her little goblin friend had gone. Buffy also noticed that she was no longer wearing the blue dress, she was no wearing a flimsy shimmering gown of while that practically left nothin to the imagination because of all the golden skin it showed off. There was a sharp knock on the door. *It must be Dusty* she thought. Buffy went to the door and opened it.  
  
"Dusty? Where have you been...Jareth!" Buffy said, surprised to find the Goblin King on the other side of the door. Jareth brushed past her without saying a word and she shut the door. He stood over by the window and looked out, Buffy came up behind him.  
  
"What is it Jareth? What's wrong? Is it Spike?" she asked worriedly. Jareth still said nothing; he merely turned around and looked at her, eyes flashing. Buffy stared into his eyes and saw desire within them. She felt extremely hot all of a sudden. Buffy started to turn around but Jareth grabbed her arm, pulled her flush against him, and covered her mouth with his own. Buffy was shaken by how sweet it was to kiss him, that she didn't stop him as his tongue slid past her lips to duel with her own. Jareth back them up to the bed then lay upon it with Buffy beneath him. *This is wrong! You have feelings for someone else...but oh this feels so wonderful* she thought. In a flash their clothes had been removed and Jareth proceeded to drop wet kisses down the column of her throat...Buffy fleeting thought that he might bite her but no, that was someone else.   
  
"My sweet, sweet slayer..." Jareth murmured as he took one of her nipples into his mouth, sucking and nipping at it gently. He did the same to the other, delighted in the moans and gasps he elicited from Buffy. She tangled her hands in his hair holding him close to her but soon let go when he slid down her body and spread her legs. He ran a finger over her already swollen nubbin and she gave out a little squeak.   
  
Jareth smiled and pushed two fingers into her center pumping then in and out slowly. Buffy moaned and bucked her hips, moving to meet his fingers. Jareth brought her to the edge listening in satisfaction at her moans and mewling. Finally, after minutes of torture he slid up Buffy's body and entered her slowly.   
  
Jareth's eyes nearly crossed at her tightness...he had been in control but he lost that control the minute he entered her, pumping into her wildly. Buffy wrapped her legs around him, hooking her ankles and meeting him thrust for thrust. Buffy briefly wondered why she had given herself up so easily, but all thoughts were lost when her orgasm hit, fast and furious. She opened her mouth and cried out in pleasure, her vaginal walls squeezing and massaging Jareth. He followed her into oblivion her name falling from his lips.  
  
"My love, my queen..."Jareth whispered, closing his eyes. If he were listening hard enough he would've heard words that would've made him want to kill slip from Buffy's lips...  
  
"Your love, your queen...all yours...Spike"   



	6. As The World Falls Down

Title: I Hate Goblins! Part 6-End  
Author: Vampy  
E-mail: Vampybaby619@hotmail.com  
Rating: PG-13  
Distribution: Anyone who wants it, just lemme know where it's going  
Summary: Buffy/Labyrinth crossover. Spike wishes Buffy away by accident and wackiness ensues...  
Disclaimer: I own nothing, Joss owns the BtVS stuff and Jim Henson owns the Laby stuff  
Author's Note: Not only am I a Buffy freak, I'm a Labyrinth freak too...great huh? Also in the beginning of this fic Spike and Buffy are only friends, later the relationship develops into more.  
  
  
Spike landed unceremoniously on his back in a pile of junk. His fall jolted him awake; he sat up and looked around, the place looked like Sunnydale landfill. As he began to get up he stumbled and fell onto a slightly trembling pile of rubbish...  
  
"Hey! Get off my back!" yelled a creaky voice. Spike jumped back in surprise...the junk heap was talking to him. The heap turned around to reveal an old woman goblin with a massive amount of garbage on her back.  
  
"Watch where you're going, Vampire!" She shouted. Spike gave her the finger, turned and walked away. The junk lady looked shot an offended look at his retreating back.  
  
"Young punk!" she called after him.   
  
"Rude old bitch!" Spike called over his shoulder.  
  
"Well I never!" she said, listening to the sound of Spike's laughter in the distance.   
  
Spike stood outside the walls of the Goblin City, somehow he knew that he didn't have much time left. Spike slipped past the sleeping guard at the doors to the main entrance. Now, this part of the movie he remembered, this was when the doors began to close to reveal a huge axe swinging robot...fighting that thing would cost him precious time so he ran through the rapidly closing doors and entered the City.  
  
Jareth was sitting beside the bed watching his future queen sleep when he heard a frantic knock at the door. He resolutely ignored it until he heard his captain of the guard's voice from behind it.  
  
"Your Highness! The vampire is within the city walls and on his way to the Castle!" he shouted through the door. Jareth wrenched the door open.  
  
"What?! Stop him you idiot! Call out the guard! And whatever you do...keep him away from the Castle!" Jareth shouted, pushing the goblin out the door. He turned and looked upon Buffy's sleeping face.  
  
"Don't worry my queen, no one shall come between us...no one!" whispered Jareth, before he orbed to the throne room.  
  
The city was quiet as Spike walked through it...too quiet. It screamed something bad was going to happen. Just then Spike heard a badly sounded trumpet and from every house out popped scores of goblins in battle gear.  
  
"Oh bloody hell! I don't have time for this!" Spike said, looking at the ugly little bastards. The trumpet sounded again and line of goblins that were in front of Spike seated on what looked like little dragons prepared to charge. Spike laughed as the little dragons dragged their feet in the dirt like bulls.   
  
"Charge!" yelled the goblin leader. They all ran at Spike with their little lances upraised, Spike yawned and dodged each and every one of them. Spike put on his game face for the umpteenth time that day and fought his way through the city...ripping off heads, snapping necks. He was having a "bloody" good time doing it too!  
  
"Ah," he said as he tore the head off of a particularly ugly goblin, "Nothing like a good spot of violence to put things in perspective. Eh mate?"  
  
Spike threw the bloody little head to the side and hacked and slashed the rest of the way to the castle steps. The goblins were scared if him now, running like mad when he faced them with the blood of their brethren dripping off of his fangs and mouth. When he reached the steps, Spike bolted up them and pushed on the doors to the castle with all his strength.   
  
The castle was like the labyrinth, filled with turns and twists but Spike navigated his way through them by tracking Buffy's scent. Buffy's scent lead him straight to the throne room where Jareth sat in his throne with an arrogant smile on his face. Spike's game face faded but his eyes remained blazing yellow.  
  
"Where is she?" Spike ground out. Jareth smiled as he produced a crystal, within it was Buffy asleep on the bed as Jareth had left her moments before.  
  
"Forget her, William. Your sweet slayer is mine." Said Jareth triumphantly. Spike growled dangerously, looking at the clock next to Jareth...five minutes left.  
  
"You know you have to let me try...even I know that you're bound by the rules" said Spike. Jareth sighed knowing he was right.  
  
"Sadly, you are right my boy. You have five minutes to convince my lady to return to earth with you..." Jareth said producing another crystal.   
  
"Your Lady? If you forced her..." Spike started. Jareth laughed...  
  
"Forced her? Never! She came to me willingly...so don't be so sure you can convince her to go back with you my dear boy" Jareth said throwing the crystal at Spike's feet. Smoke filled the throne room and as it cleared Spike found himself in another room...a bedroom.   
  
Spike gazed at the bed where Buffy slept and was about to go to her side to wake her when Jareth appeared in the room. Spike scowled at him, Jareth waved his hand over Buffy and again she was dressed in the blue dress from earlier. Buffy opened her sea blue eyes...  
  
"Jareth, hello I...Spike!" exclaimed Buffy, spying the blonde vampire.  
  
"Hello Cutie!" he said with a false note of cheer in his voice. Buffy looked back and forth in between the two men in confusion. Jareth waved his hand again and the room changed to that of the Escher room.   
  
"Buffy, my dear...your William has arrived." Jareth announced to the confused blonde. Spike frowned and held out his hand to Buffy who was standing in between the two men.  
  
"Slayer, luv? Take my hand and we can go back to Sunnyhell." Coaxed Spike. Buffy took one step towards Spike.   
  
"Buffy!" Jareth called. Buffy turned towards him and he held a crystal out to her. "What kind of life do you have there on earth? A life of destruction and death, I can give you a better life, a life of a treasured queen." Buffy took several steps toward Jareth and he shot a smirk in Spike's direction.  
  
"Slayer! What about your friends? The nibblet? They need you! I need you!" Spike shouted. Buffy turned and went nearer to Spike...  
  
"What kind of life can he give you?! A life of everlasting darkness! Not the existence in the light that I can offer you, where you will suffer no more pain, no more death..." said Jareth, looking to Buffy's eyes. And as Buffy moved back towards him and took his hand, Jareth knew that he had her. The clock began to bong...  
  
"Buffy! I-I LOVE YOU!" Spike screamed desperately, knowing he was about to lose her. Buffy whipped her head around and stared at him...  
  
"D-do you mean it?" she asked. Spike thought of a dozen smart ass replies but only one answer would convince her.  
  
"Yes, for a long time now" he said. Buffy tore herself from Jareth's grasp and launched herself into Spike's arms.  
  
"I love you too." She said just as the last bong sounded. In a flash of white light they were back in Buffy living room, with the Scooby Gang staring at them in amazement.  
  
"Hi guys." Buffy said, her cheeks reddening because of the position she and Spike were in. Spike just grinned from his position under her.  
  
"'Allo all" he said, cheerfully. Xander was about to say something when he saw what movie was playing on the t.v  
  
"Ooh Labyrinth! I've always had a thing for that Sarah chick," he said seating himself, the other Scoobies followed suit. Buffy got up and off of Spike to his dismay and switched of the t.v  
  
"Hey!" they chorused.  
  
"Sorry guys...I hate goblins!" she said, switching on a lamp. Just then something under Willow's butt moved, she squeaked and bolted out of the chair...  
  
"Does that mean you hate me, Lady Buffy?" said Dusty crawling out from beneath a pillow.  
  
"Dusty!" Buffy said, snatching up the little goblin and cuddling him to her chest.  
  
"Uh Buffy...what's that?" asked Xander.   
  
"A goblin..." said Buffy.  
  
"What happened to you two?" asked Willow. Buffy sat down in Spike's lap and Xander's eyes widened.  
  
"It's a long story..." Buffy started, looking at Spike, his eyes twinkling with merriment.  
  
"Oh we have time..." said Xander, shooting a glare at Spike. Spike didn't say a word, he was just glad that Buffy was back where she belonged...in Sunnydale, with him.   
  
And as Buffy and Spike regaled the group with what happened, no one noticed a snow-white owl that had been watching them, perched just outside the bushes, take flight.  
  
*You WILL be mine Buffy...I hate goblins indeed!*  
  
THE END...or is it?  



End file.
